How I Do It

[Note: The following is my contribution to the “How I Do It” series at the New York Times’ Motherlode.  I thought the series provided a unique way to really see parenthood in action – there is no better way to answer the question “How do you do it?” than really laying it out, warts and all!]
 
Motherlode asked parents, from members of Congress to retail clerks, to share “how they do it” on one typical day.

Rebecca Hughes Parker is the editor in chief of The FCPA Report, a legal publication about anticorruption issues. Previously, she spent eight years as a litigator at a large law firm, a job she took while pregnant with her twin girls. She lives in Manhattan with her husband and three daughters, 8-year-old twins and a 2-year-old. Her husband is the primary caregiver for the children. They have never had a nanny or a housekeeper.

Manhattan, Tuesday, May 14
5:20 a.m. My husband comes in from the truncated overnight shift he did at the local television station –  he freelances as a news writer for the morning show there and does a shift once every two weeks or so. Today he worked midnight to 5 a.m. He takes the dog out.

5:40 I peel myself off the bed and go into the room that my three girls — 8-year-old twins and a 2-year-old — share. I nudge Alex, one of the twins. “Are you sure you want to go?” I say, hoping she will say she wants to cancel ice skating and we can go back to bed. “I want to go,” she says. I tiptoe out of the room, thankful that for once the 2-year-old, Charlotte, does not wake up. The other twin, Natalie, sleeps like a log. Continue reading How I Do It

Ted Cruz Comes to New York

New York GOP loves Senator Ted Cruz.  The Texas firebrand is scheduled to headline a big-bucks fundraiser in Manhattan later this month as a featured guest.  Special guests include State Senator Dean Skelos, the Republican Conference Leader.  Regular guests are expected to pay $1000 for dinner, with proceeds benefiting the state party organization (which, considering its successes these past several election cycles makes you wonder what exactly the money gets spent on).  By ponying up $5000 per person, however, you can get a picture taken with the senator.  This should be fun to watch.

Senator Cruz is a rising star of the national party.  He burst into office just a few months ago and has lost little time in irking just about everyone on both sides of the aisle.  And while his Tea Party fervor and Lone Star swagger may not sit so well with some, the consequences are more than just personal. Continue reading Ted Cruz Comes to New York

The Unsteady Rise of the Power Mom and the Diapering Dad

“The most important career choice you’ll make is who you’ll marry,” Sheryl Sandberg, the ubiquitous Facebook COO and author of the “Lean In” book (and social movement), famously tells women.  She advocates marrying someone who will do 50% of the “second shift,” freeing women to go full force in their careers, and allowing those stubborn low numbers of women in leadership positions to finally rise.

IF A MAN DOES ALL THE WORK THAT A WOMAN TRADITIONALLY DOES, as my stay-at-home husband happily does, IS THE PROBLEM SOLVED?  Did I manage to reverse the gender roles and be the “father” who goes to work?  Fresh out of law school, I expected to.  But, it wasn’t so straightforward. Continue reading The Unsteady Rise of the Power Mom and the Diapering Dad

Much Ado About Going to the Office

I was interviewed in a piece on NPR today by Jennifer Ludden on Marisa Mayer’s now infamous “work from home memo,” available here.

Four  points on the backlash:

1- Attack on Flexibility:  This memo was perceived as taking something away that employees have gained in today’s workplace, something that innovation has enabled.  And it’s more than just working from home – flexibility and remote work policies often go hand in hand and people, working mothers in particular, conflate them.  They viewed this memo as an attack on flexibility as well.   Studies show that most working moms want to work flexibly, or part time.  That’s why the backlash was particularly harsh among female bloggers. Continue reading Much Ado About Going to the Office

Six Tips for Pumping Breastmilk at Work

You have breastfed your baby (or twins) since birth, and now you have to go back to work.  It takes dedication to continue nursing when you are away from your little ones –  obviously, a mother’s breasts were designed to feed her babies directly from the source and.   But, thanks to technology, increased awareness and breastfeeding-friendly laws, there are some ways to make it a little easier (not easy!).  The following are are some tips from those who have been there. Continue reading Six Tips for Pumping Breastmilk at Work

Debunking Twin Myths

Debunking Twin Myths

Published in Huffington Post

Twins for Kate? The princess’s hyperemesis gravidarum (a condition worthy of further research) has led to speculation that she is having twins. It is true that a multiple pregnancy is associated with a 7.5% increased chance of HG. My own anecdotal evidence is a bit different — I had significant nausea and vomiting with both of my pregnancies, and it was actually worse with my singleton the second time around than my first twin pregnancy. But, people are speculating about where the royal baby was conceived, what the princess should eat, the name of the royal baby, the maternity styles we will see, so it is not surprising that our endless appetite for royal gossip on both sides of the pond has fueled twin talk.

With this speculation about twins, though, comes the misconceptions about twin zygosity and twin inheritance that have persisted (she could have twins because William’s uncle Charles has identical twins!), even among skilled medical professionals, even as twins have become much more common, increasing 76% over the past 30 years to 3.3% of births in the U.S. Continue reading Debunking Twin Myths